Long before the age of the smart phone, Einstein said the above.  Some historians dispute that

                                                            the great man ever said that, but, in any event, it seems the prophecy may be coming true.

                                                            Just look around you.  Everywhere you look, people are glued to a screen.  Of course, we are

                                                            all guilty of it - and it doesn’t mean we’re idiots - but nevertheless, the effect is dehumanizing.

 

                                                            We are engaging face-to-face much less.  Although the digital age may be changing our brains for the better, there are also detrimental effects. If we don’t speak to each other, it’s hard to establish empathy.  Technology isn’t innately evil, but it is a very powerful and the ultimately distracting activity.  Just as with any addiction, we know that the addiction is doing terrible things to us - and that we’d be better off reverting to age-old human habits, such as being able to have a continuous conversation lasting more then three minutes.

 

I have to share with you an email I got from my friend...

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Power Outage…

We had a power outage at my house this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad, ham radio & my new surround sound music system were all shut down.  Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and to top it off it was raining outside, so I couldn't play golf.

 

I went into the kitchen to make coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my partner for a few hours.

They seem like a nice person.

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Good communication is being able to talk to each other clearly, and knowing that each is being heard.  It is also intentional listening which opens the door to genuine intimacy with your partner.

 

Generally what couples do, is called parallel monologue.  Two people talking. No one listening.

 

In my work, I engage couples in dialogue to concretize the experience of connection by using safe language. It is about how we ‘say it’ and what our faces and bodies are ‘saying’.

 

It is WHAT we say; It is HOW we say it and HOW we listen.

 

Two of the “filters” that get in the way of good communication are “old tapes” and “past experiences”.  Because of these, we

mis-hear or misinterpret what is being said.  The point then gets lost.  We react to what we ‘think’ is being said instead of listening, hearing and then responding.

 

The other side of bad communication is giving unclear messages.  This can result from censoring what we really think or feel, or from just not being clear about what we think or feel.  Saying what we mean and meaning what we say is as important as listening well.  Listening well means actively listening, paying full attention and hearing what is actually being said.

 

In my work with couples I take a positive view of their relationship, even though it can be hard to see the relationship as anything other than negative when we are having relationship difficulties.  I always say, “Feel your feelings, and do, and say the right thing.”

 

All conflict is an opportunity for emotional growth and if you can relate, hope is hardly lost.

 

 

Love & Laughter..

Communicate

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